THINGS THAT MY MIND TOLD ME WHEN I WAS DEPRESSED:
- That things were way worse than they actually were.
- All of my faults as an individual were insurmountable.
- This feeling would never pass and I would never be happy again.
- I was undeserving of anything in my life that was good.
- I deserved to feel this way.
- I should deal with this on my own.
- I was worthless.
- I was inadequate.
- Death would be a welcome release from this feeling. *
- Whatever my mind was telling me was the truth.
3 thoughts on “Chapter 3: Part III: Things That My Mind Told Me When I Was Depressed”
These posts are both hard and inspiring to read. Hard because even though I feel better, I still remember that inability to look forward to things in the future or happily engage in the present and I feel a small lingering feeling of “what if.” I don’t want to be there again. Inspiring because you have made me feel less “medicated” if that makes sense- that if someone as “balanced” as you always appear to me has walked the road, then it really isn’t me or something wrong with me…. it’s my brain and the serotonin issues. Truly.
Mental illness doesn’t discriminate and it took me a long time to accept that.
Is it biological to think of ending ones life or does it go along with the other negative thoughts of depression… as in some people have some thoughts based on their make up or experiences? I suppose that is part biological. Does it become a possible way of stopping the pain because the person keeps saying it over and over in their head much like the other thoughts that appear and cannot be stopped. Why do some people self harm and others turn to non prescribed medication or alcohol to ease the pain? They are all coping mechanisms that are effective at the time but so dangerous too. Is it possible that it is like trying to get rid of a migraine? You will do anything to get rid of the pain. When one medication doesn’t work take another and then another until finally something works (but thankfully none of the medications were too much or a lethal combination). What do some people think they should end their lives to end the pain of depression and others feel they deserve to live with it?
Why are there so few answers for an illness that affects so many people and generates so much money for the drug companies that make the medications that help people with depression….oh. Duh.
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